February 2002 Archives

It was another extremely windy day. Not the best day to take a bike ride, but the clouds, the clouds! Big puffy clouds rolling by in a bright blue sky brought me out.

cloudy, cloudy, cloudy, cloud

I thought I might try to take some pictures on the pretty bike path along the water, but it was very difficult, managing the dog and the bike with the wind. So one photo with a smudge on it is all you get. I have been scouting out places to run, and this bike path looks fab.

click for larger version

We had to stop in a café half way home, in order to thaw out some of my fingers. The locals bought misha a beer, which she drank 2 saucers full of, while I had a quick coffee, with the obligatory cookie. I have yet to have a coffee served to me here that didn't also include a tiny biscuit. We both stumbled home against the wind. The end.

can we go now please?

This is a rather random list of all the bands I have ever seen that I can remember seeing, and that are famous enough to list. Its not a big list, but there is is. I made it a while ago, but I have only seen one act since then (songs ohia). That will soon change in April, when I will go to the UK location of all tomorrow's parties. Looking at their list, there will be a few repeats. It will be nice to spend an entire weekend relaxing and hearing bands play. I haven’t done that since CMJ. Although running around Manhattan trying to figure out which shows you can see and which ones you can afford to miss, and then being so tired of the end of it that you skip a bunch of good acts wasn’t always that much fun. This should be WAY better.

There is a saying in running: "speed is lust; distance is love." I think that also sums up the personalities of each type of runner. At the track tonight I was side-swiped by a sprinter at top speed. I guess once you get going, you can’t stop very well. There was some kind of argument with the sprinter's coach and our coach, the sprinter's coach was really pissed off. Apparently we weren’t keeping out of their way to his satisfaction. I couldn't really understand what they were saying, but while the sprinter was getting angrier and angrier, our coach just kind of brushed him off. It was rather amusing.

I've come to realize that if I want to complete a marathon, I'm going to have to run it slow. This is kind of sucks because I don't really run all that fast to begin with. But sometimes you have to take it easy if you’re in for the long haul. And now I have a trainer to push me when I need it. Today was the first really hard track workout I have had, and there is no way I would have done it on my own. I ran 3 X 1000 meter repeats at peak speed. I feel tired, but proud that I pushed as hard as I did. Tomorrow I can relax!

I may not have a residence permit, but today I felt more like a citizen after I acquired some little pieces of plastic with magnetic stripes in my wallet. I replaced my Safeway Club card with an Albert Heijn Bonus! card. I replaced my Pinnacle Fitness card with a Barry's Fitness card. It's funny that those little cards can make you feel more at home, but really those cards are keys. They allow you to go places a tourist doesn’t go, and probably wouldn't even think about. Now, I can work up a sweat without braving driving winds and rain, and I can get three bottles of spa water for 1.60 euro. I am a now citizen of this city! hee

One of the interesting things about living in a foreign country is being able to see how your own country is perceived from the outside. This becomes evident by watching European TV coverage of the Olympics.

I know that part of the Olympics is expressing some sort of national pride, why else would they have athletes represent their countries? But the Olympics should be about celebrating the finest athletes in the world; finding joy and (and amazement!) in the pinnacle of the human body, mind and spirit. It should also be able to bring countries together, something that these games have been struggling to do, with all the whining and complaining about the officiating and judging.

The Olympic coverage varies from the 3 stations that carry it here. The BBC is relentless in showing mostly Brit athletes and Brit-dominated sports (which means showing ALL of the curling competitions, live). I hardly watch their coverage even though its in English, cause its pretty boring, and the announcers tend to talk just a bit too much. The German public TV station just shows this main shared-feed, doesn’t have any commentary or interviews. I watch this when I just want a sort of bare-bones experience. Then there are the Dutch channels.

I have gotten into the habit of watching "Olympic Breakfast" on Dutch TV, which recaps the previous day's events. It’s a very polished show, with lots of highlights, interviews and clips. The core of the show features the main host and guests seated around a large breakfast table piled with breads, orange juice and coffee, and the day's newspapers. There is even a chef off in the wings shown every so often preparing an omelet or strawberry parfait. It's all very cozy. Of course I can't understand a word (ok, maybe a few words) of it unless they are interviewing an American, but I still find it an enjoyable show. Although they cover speed skating heavily, they also include all other sports. They even delight when another country wins a gold, even in speed skating!

The other day they visit downtown Salt Lake City and do a man-on-the-street type segment, to see how the townies feel about the games. A man in a Dutch accent off camera interviews some jolly Salt Lake City natives, all saying how wonderful it is to be host. During an interview one woman joyfully boasts: "God Bless America!" as her friends behind her selling star-spangled t-shirts yip and cheer with delight, while without missing a beat, the Dutch broadcaster asks: "and why should God bless America?" as if this is just a normal question. And, well, it is a normal question, why should God bless those 50 little states and not the rest of the world? It's not something you would get from an American broadcast, and it is rather refreshing to hear. The woman seemed a bit flustered at the question, and she barked back some more song lyrics, half-heartedly at first, but stronger towards the last: "because…its…uh, the home of the free and the land of the brave??"

Sure, sure it is.

Yesterday we went to the Van Gogh museum. The art was wonderful, but the exhibit itself was rather disturbing. It seemed as if Van Gogh was always trying to please Gauguin, even though his natural style was so different. Also it seemed as if Van Gogh was much more optimistic, yet he was the one who killed himself. Maybe he was too busy trying to please everyone else that he forgot about himself.

Although, another thing the exhibit highlighted was how much these artists seemed to be obsessed with themselves. There were numerous self-portraits, portraits of each other, as well as objects representing the artists and even the artists casting themselves as biblical figures (ok, only Gauguin cast himself as Christ, while Van Gogh replaced Christ with a symbolic yellow sun). Is that what you need in order to go down in history as a great artist, lots of self-portraits? If this is the case, I want to be covered, so last night I attempted my own sort of self portrait. When you're a photographer, though, you don’t have the same freedom as a painter. I decided to do something a bit different. So, here is a part of me anyway.

Magere Brug (the little bridge) over the river Amstel

Went out tonight on my bike to get some ice cream at Australian and attempt some night photography. The camera I'm currently working with isn’t really optimal for low-light. I am really going to have to hunt down a place where I can develop and print my own film as well as scan it. Seems like a lot of work, considering none of it is needed with digital but I just can't afford a real digital camera right now, and I still want to work at a certain level. wah.

brass knobs for makin' beer

So there was no entry yesterday, or the day before. Oh well. I can't do this every single day, but I still aim to, so that I at least hit 5 out of 7 days. Kind of like going to the gym, you just go everyday until you feel you need a rest.

I needed a big rest. I have been in a really foul mood the past few days. On Friday I decided to try and run a new route, only to get severely lost in bone chilling wind an extra half an hour. Getting lost is fun when you're on your bike in a warm jacket and gloves, getting lost is not so nice on foot in running tights and a t-shirt.

Yesterday I moped around most of the afternoon and then dragged myself out to the movies. I hate the movies, but I figured it was at least something to get me up and moving. But I saw Ghost World, which, while being a pretty good movie, just seemed to put me in a deeper funk. Next time I'll try to go see something with hunky leading men and lots of action if I want distraction.

I contributed a few photos to the mirror project.

This one is of me and bill at the Heineken Experience, one of their breweries that gives cheesy tours now instead of making beer. It's close to here so we figured we go and enjoy the cheap beer and exhibits about hops and barley.

Holland is the land of cheese. And not talking about the Gouda (although the Gouda is good). There seems to be a ton of tacky stuff: music, clothes, tv shows. Mtv Europe is also pretty bad (not like it is a modicum of good taste anywhere), but somehow I am enjoying the crapiness here more than I would be at home.

(Don't get me wrong, there are many very tasteful and refined Dutch things. For instance, there seem to be interior design shops on every corner, each one more beautiful and sleek than the last. Their perfectly ordered modern euro-style invites me in from the street, where I imagine myself sitting on a square-shaped couch, among the white walls and cool lighting, putting my feet up on a wide coffee table and laboriously pouring over upholstery swatches--but I digress. Also, the people that live downstairs have their first floor immaculately decorated with fine antiques, at least from what I can see through their curtains.)

I think I'm enjoying the kitschy-ness here precisely because its so foreign. There is no pre-determined cultural background that tells me, yes, the velvet Elvis rug or the Betty Boop shot glass or the Partridge Family Lunchbox is hella ugly, but hey! Arent they also so hip and cool! Here, the bad stuff is just plain fun.

For instance, right now I am really enjoying this Swedish import: Alcazar. The music is retro-disco, the lyrics don't make a lick of sense in that charming English-isn't-our-first-language sort of way, the videos are also tacky and gross, (horrible dancing, bad outfits, serious posing) but somehow, to me, it's all just a good bit of fun. And its great music to clean the house to, even if it does upset the dog a bit.

I have put off going to the Van Gogh Museum until the new exhibit "Van Gogh – Gauguin" gets here (so I will be going soon!). It seems like an interesting way to look at art, by seeing the direct influence of contemporaries on each other.

I know that as for me, competition is an important element in creativity (or rather, creative productivity.) I went through a period in 11th grade when I wrote a poem for every one my friend Lynn wrote. And she wrote at least one a day. It was somehow important for me to keep up, and after reading something she wrote I always felt that I could do something better. Somehow reading published, established, well-known, well-studied and well-respected poets didn't inspire me nearly as much as my friend did. With her I was in the realm of what was possible; we were on the same level. Pushing myself to do more wasn’t a chore, it was just a fun challenge.

Also, I think that in order to work well with someone, although you have to share certain things its not necessary to want to be their best friend, or to even like them. Lynn and I were close friends at various times throughout high school, but she was different than me in many important ways, and we didn't stay close after we graduated. Something about being too similar or too good of friends kills my competitive drive. Maybe Van Gogh lost an ear because the differences between him and Gauguin were too great (or, as historians say, maybe Van Gogh was simply insane). I wish I had someone to compete with with my photography. I think between doing nothing and losing an ear would be a good place to be. For now I'll just have to look at glossy magazines and feel inferior.

According to one of my guide books, there are over 1,200 cafés in Amsterdam. And I am going to try and sample as many as I can!

Today started off great, I got the dog walked and my run all in before noon. Then, because it's Sunday, I had to go into the central part of town to run an errand. The shop I needed to go to is on one of the more popular shopping streets. The street is closed to traffic, so it has the effect of being one huge open air mall, and today it felt like a huge open air mall on Christmas Eve it was so packed!

So after braving the crowds for something the store was out of anyway, I decided to treat myself to lunch at café Luxembourg. It truly is a grand place, and I got lucky and nabbed a table right out front with a view of Spui square. I had a salade niçoise, which I order a lot, as I am always in search of the perfect one. They almost got right, but they left out the potatoes and the dressing wasn't the authentic mustard vinaigrette, but instead some sort of garlicky mayonnaise based thing (leave it to the Dutch to put mayo in a niçoise salad). Overall it was good, and the service was excellent, which is rare at cafés. I sat there and tried to read a bit of a newspaper with my Nederlands-Engels dictionary, but gave up and just people watched from the window.

I rode home on my bike, enjoying the crisp air and sunshine. I started carrying around a little packet of Kleenex cause my nose gets a bit runny in the cold and wind. I kinda like it. It makes me feel a bit like a kid again.

I am so tired. Taking the dog out 3 times a day, plus running, plus cleaning the house, and giving the dog a bath maybe has worn me out a bit. There is more I want to do. But I am too tired. And the cleaning is still not finished. Well yeah, it's never finished!

I watched what was on tv tonight, which happened to be the Star Trek movie "First Contact" with the scary BORG! Eek!

The movie is actually pretty good, as long as you can take the time-travel premise. I never understand why people have to go back in time to fix the future, why can't they just go back further in time until things are normal? Of course then you could just go on and on to infinity, further and further back. Why is time travel a popular device for stories? I guess it's a common human craving, to go back and do something over again, with full knowledge of how your actions will affect the future, to fix mistakes of the past. Or maybe it's just having that knowledge, of being able to see the future. Isn't that what time travel is all about? (Other than enabling well known TV and movie characters to dress in different costumes.)

I dunno, its too much for my puny brain to handle. I've been feeling rather foggy lately. My head hasn’t been getting enough activity. Now Total Recall is on. Great. A movie about memories, time travel all in your own head!

You would think by the amount of cooking shows alone on the BBC, that the English are excellent cooks. It's inspiring to say the least, when you see people preparing full meals in half an hour, sometimes with surprise ingredients. It gets me thinking about what I can do, even if I don’t have a celebrity chef to call up when I get stuck. Or even the bare minimum of tools I am used to working with.

This apartment came equipped with a few pots and pans, a cheese grater and some knives. There is no microwave, not even a toaster (although we did run out and get a cheap toaster.) Only the top of the stove works (for now). (The stove was installed, brand new, when the last tenant moved in. But it seems as though he never actually used the stove, and it doesn’t work. They are coming to look at it on Monday, but it took ages just to get a repairman to come out). There aren’t any measuring spoons or cups, fancy garlic crushers or peelers. I have managed pretty well despite the environment, and even started trying to prepare new things, like risotto. For some reason I thought making risotto would be difficult, but it was surprisingly easy. It's amazing the variety of cooking one can do without any fancy equipment, Jamie Oliver would be proud!

Don’t get me wrong, I'm not a great cook. I merely see cooking as a necessity, as the work you have to do in order to eat. But once I get going I generally enjoy it. Sometimes though, it does feel like a chore to me. On those days no cooking show is going to get me going, it's only going to make me hungry. At least it's pretty easy to pick up a cone of fries (yes, they serve them in paper cones) or broodjes (a Dutch-style sandwich) when I'm out walking the dog.

Someone pointed me to this site about an American woman living in Holland. On it she complains about some of the foods she misses. I think it's amazing that someone can complain about missing Velveeta cheese, or even "California Cheese" in this country. (Of course I never ate Velveeta back home, ew!) There are however, some foods that I miss. Mexican food, for one thing. And American-style energy bars (Balance Bars and Cliff Bars). When I asked if they sold them at our local branch of the Naturwinkel, the guy said: "all these things in this store have energy!!" I mean, he had a point. But still, I want my energy bars! Also, they don’t put half and half in their coffee here. You can't buy it anywhere. Instead they use steamed milk (which you can't replicate at home) or evaporated milk, which doesn’t really cut it. I have adjusted however, by drinking espresso and lattes at home (I know, its so difficult adjusting! hee). I even bought myself a tiny little stovetop espresso maker.

It's just me and the dog (misha, above) for the next five days, Bill has gone off to London for a job interview. Quiet time to stay home, clean the flat, maybe see a movie or two. Ghost World just opened and Oceans Eleven is still playing here. Or maybe I will just stay in and listen to my language tapes.

It rained on and off today, which made me finally break down and buy proper head gear. My requirements for such an item are great. I need something that will keep my head warm and dry, not fly off my head while riding a bicycle in high winds AND be fashionable. A genuine hand-sewn Basque beret is the only choice. And I found one today, in Holland, in an English hat shop. Why did I have to go to an English hat shop to buy a French hat, in Holland? No idea. But it works for me!

I also hit Lush today, so its time for a relaxing bath and facial.

I had a wonderful night tonight! I went to a running club for the first time ever. Normally I'm not one for group activities (hey, that’s why I like running in the first place, it’s a nice solitary sport), but if I'm going to run a marathon (there, I said it) then I'm going to need more than books to keep me motivated. I had a small chat with a guy at a running shoe store yesterday who tipped me off about a group that runs close to my neighborhood. They are called Phanos, which is Greek for torch, and they run at the Amsterdam Olympic Stadium.

I decided to go for it, and in very windy conditions I rode my bike all the way down to the end Stadionweg. I started to get excited as I got closer and saw the stadium lights. I have never run on a track before, much less in a stadium, much less in a stadium where Olympic Athletes competed!

The stadium was built for the 9th modern Olympic games in 1928, and was almost torn down before it was saved and beautifully renovated in the late 90s. The tradition of the Olympic torch being carried from Athens to the site of the games was started there, the Olympic flame was first lit during the opening ceremony (I'm guessing that’s where Phanos got the inspiration for their name). Also during the 1928 games women were first allowed to compete in track and field events. Which I thought was fitting since I was having my first track experience in the same stadium.

When I got to the stadium, I quickly followed the signs the running store guy had told me to look for, and I was lead into a pleasant bar/café that looked out onto the fields. I asked around, and although no one's English was that great, I soon found someone who would get me started in the right group. Everyone was so cool! It was so wonderful to be around runners and talk about running. (You ran HOW many marathons? The guy I was warming up with had run the Amsterdam one 11 times!)

The actual training was hard, but so much fun! In some ways I felt like I was in ballet class again Jeté-ing across the floor, only I was skipping on a track doing strange hopping drills. In some ways it felt like gym class, doing 60 pushups (ok, I only managed 45). I think its funny that here I am today, going out of my way to take part in something I avoided bitterly most of my youth. And the best part was running around a track with 22,500 seats looking down on me.

I know I am going to be sore tomorrow, but right now, I feel great!

In commercials on Dutch tv, whenever there is music with lyrics, its sung in English. The voiceover is always in Dutch, but the song is in English. (The only exception to this is the sex hotline jingles, which are always in Dutch.) The music playing in shops or on the radio is usually in English, and once and a while the shop-person or customer will sing along. I wonder why so much music is made in English, or why its so popular.

I managed to find a Dutch DIY language course (on cassette, now I just have to find something to play it on), but it was difficult. I can't think of a more useless language to learn, since all the Dutch speak English, and they don't speak Dutch anywhere else in the world (besides parts of Belgium, the Netherlands Antilles and Suriname). But it will be useful to me, just to be able to read the side of a box of rice or instructions for a children's card game. I don’t know how much I can learn in the limited time I'm here, but if I can just learn enough to get by I'll be happy. I do have the whole total emersion thing going for me. Except for the music on the tv commercials and the American sitcoms (Alf, the Nanny, Aly McBeal, bleh!), the English books in the bookshops and the restaurants with 2 menus. We will see.

Sarphati Park

I decided to take some photos (sorry, i'll make something prettier than a directory list soon) of the park across the street, Sarphatipark. Living like most do here, in a flat, you don't have a yard or even a patch of dirt like I did in San Francisco. So parks are very important. I consider this park my backyard, as do most of the people in the neighborhood. I walk or ride through it or along it at least once a day.

It's a cozy little spot of green and brown. You can see people feeding the ducks or children playing in their own sandy playground area. There is a small basketball court and even tables for table tennis (which people actually use). I've seen people jogging on the pebble trails. (Since the park is the size of a city block, it would take quite a few laps just to hit one mile, which is why I ride the 25 minutes on my bike to run in the amsterdamse bos.) There are even sculptures and a tiny waterfall, all looked down upon from all sides by the 4-story brick faces of the surrounding houses.

I take my dog there, and try to keep her from eating the stale bread on the ground left for the birds. Dogs are permitted to run off leash, in the dog half of the park (Dogs can go pretty much anywhere off-leash, but that's another story.) Back home there were only a few places in the city where dogs could run free, and those places became fewer every year. The park is divided in half by a pond running its length, and has bridges that cross over in a few locations. Dogs are not allowed in the north part of the park (where the children's playground resides), and each bridge has a cattle-guard type of grating to keep the dogs from crossing over. The non-dog part of the park is only slightly nicer than the dog part. Its nice if you don't like dogs. Or, if you're a cat:

Yes, you caught me. I didn't write anything yesterday. My aim is to write everyday. Sometimes its difficult. Maybe because I don’t know who my audience is. Or rather, that my audience is rather mixed. In the end I'm mostly writing this for myself, and yet that is a lame excuse because one doesn’t need to write to oneself. I can just think my thoughts and never put them into words, much less onto the internet. But writing is communication; I feel the need to connect. I'm just not sure who I'm connecting to.

Two questions asked to me at the market today:
1. When purchasing pistachios: "Roasted or fried?" (fried?? yeah, I know the dutch fry everything.)
2. When purchasing oranges: "For eating or drinking?" (I guess a reasonable question, even though it sounded funny. Most Dutch people speak English, yet most do not speak it perfectly.)

I felt kinda sick today and didn’t leave the house until after 4. Which was a mistake because it was a beautiful warm and sunny day today. Time to make dinner and maybe have a long bath. Not much of a Saturday night I guess, but every night is like Saturday night to me now!