« the business | Main | Audience Monkey »
November 29, 2005
Oh the places you'll go
After writing this whole thing I realise its sort of a circular argument. But maybe paradoxes are what life is all about? Anyway, I apologise for the footnotes, but I find them easier to work with than parenthesis when I go on for longer than a few words. Hope you can forgive me.
I do a lot of commenting in my daily life. I think there is a misconception that I am complaining. But I'm not. I have had a misunderstanding recently about my enjoyment (or lack thereof) of being an ex-pat in London. I think because I like to comment on all the differences between the US and the UK, one may get the impression that I don't like it here, that I prefer things to be the US-way. Nothing could be further from the truth. Although at times differences can be surprising, it is why I'm here in the first place. You don't move to another continent just to have everything be the same. What would be the point?
What is so great about being from another country is learning the ways people are different. Seeing the broad expanse that is the human experience. To understand that we are more than how our culture defines us, and also understanding how our culture does define us.
All the small details that make cultures different though, ultimately fall away because, as Paul McCartney once put it: people are the same wherever you go. Understanding that we are all the same in some way makes it easier to let go of all those little details that once felt so important. (And at the same time embrace new ones.) When I first moved here, and many people have had this same terrible experience of culture shock in varying degrees, it was difficult not to want all the little things I was so accustomed to having. For instance, I really missed enjoying half & half in my coffee. Not having it was a daily disappointment. After unsuccessfully trying numerous ways to replace it¹ , I finally settled into the taste of milk in my coffee, the way most English people drink it. I actually prefer it this way now, but I wouldn't say it is the same thing. The more you go through this process the more you learn that things you think you need you really don't. That existing in another place isn't really so hard. That you're more resilient than your culture has led you to believe. That new whacky and strange things really aren't that whacky and strange, because after all, aliens from mars did not create them, people did. People like you, or sorta like you. Then you begin to enjoy a new world, with even more details in it than before. More things enjoy.
(And OK, milk in coffee isn't whacky or strange. But maybe beans for breakfast is a bit whack? Being that the English founded America, nothing here could be that strange to us. Cept maybe Marmite.)
It is funny that I have learned this lesson here though, in England, because I think the English are pretty poor at adjusting to other cultures themselves. They have tended to bring their culture along with them, which is why cricket is so popular in India, or rugby in Australia. And they still do this today. Which is why you can get a "Full English" breakfast at most places in the world. Or why there are so many all inclusive package holidays to exotic locations where you never have to leave your resort and can probably have bangers and mash for tea every night. Yet I am blessed that I live a very open and tolerant place in England: London. London is probably the most diverse place in the UK.
London, being a large wealthy city, is a strong magnet for immigrants from around the world as well as for people from all over the UK and the Commonwealth (I didn't realise how large and diverse the Commonwealth is and how strong the UK's ties are to the many counties that make it up.) Living in London offers a chance not just to experience another culture, but many cultures. In my short stints at various jobs in the capital, I have had the opportunity to work with people from South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Columbia, Ireland, Denmark and even Liverpool. I have enjoyed immensely learning about these different places through their people and their reactions to living in the new shared culture of London. It is what I enjoy most about living here, meeting people from all over the world². I only wish that somehow I could figure out a way of turning that into some sort of job-skill.
So when I talk about all the little differences between America and the UK, its not about complaining, its about being able to have such an observation. Its neat that things are different. I love it!
¹I tried mixing milk and cream, which after all is all half& half is, but the cream was too thick and it was a hassle. Just cream by itself presented a world or problems, one being was that it was too rich, another being that it lasted approximately half a day in the fridge before going bad, and it was messy and difficult to pour from the container it came in.
²Or, by contrast, meeting born and bred Londoners who enjoy the diversity and don't see a need to go anywhere else, since they feel they have the world at their doorstep. Mostly I believe that’s true, although I also believe that living outside your comfort zone can bring a deeper experience.
Posted by shannon at November 29, 2005 06:04 PM